(Possibly the most shallow post of my life lies ahead. Just a warning)
Makeup and I are not friends, and never have been. This is bad, because I have a theory that Notre Dame girls were taught from age 5 how to apply eyeliner. Maybe it’s a legacy thing. Even girls who come to class in PJs or sweats make time for their morning makeup ritual. Now me, on the other hand- I consistently find myself in a cycle of experiment– daily application– disillusionment— disgust. No matter how hard I try to break the cycle, I just can’t seem to discover how to successfully integrate makeup into my life.
To start off with, I have a lot working against me. Pale skin + shadowed, recessed eyes = my eye makeup easily looks gothic. I wear mostly brown, not black mascara and eyeliner, but even the thinnest of eyeliner lines and the sparest of mascara coats cause problems. Also, I have so many lines under my eyes (it’s a genetic thing- my mom gave me my eye shape) that inevitably eyeliner and mascara dust settles in the creases under my eyes, leaving me looking haggard and exhausted by an hour after application. When wearing eye makeup, I have to remember to frequently check these under-eye creases for makeup debris and wipe it off, although that also wipes off my concealer which must be reapplied, etc etc. I keep trying, though, because I love how most redheads make their eyes look gorgeous against their pretty pale faces.
Another major issue is patience. I am much more dedicated to sleep than looks. I will not sacrifice fifteen minutes of sleep for a morning cleansing face scrub/ multilayer makeup application. My makeup routine, when it exists, is quick eye makeup and tinted lip balm. I don’t own foundation (why wear makeup that matches the color of your skin?) and my facial cleansers sit dusty and unused, even the one with “morning burst beads” that claim to wake you up as you lather. Essentially, my dedication level is low.
Final major complaint: I feel so much more tired when I wear eye makeup, because I can’t rub my eyes. My eyes get all dry and all I want to do is close them for a long time. I rub my makeup off pretty quickly because staying awake in class trumps looks.
I’ve read online makeup guides. I’ve had my makeup done professionally (once… years ago), and I’ve watched friends who know what they’re doing. I have a bulging makeup bag. And still, I find myself at war with makeup. It’s a love-hate relationship, because it knows that I need it to look “nice” by social standards, and professors, etc appreciate it when you look nice. And of course I’d like to be able to handle makeup well. But I think that until I commit to making time for a makeup routine in the morning, it’s not going to work. Maybe all of that cleansing and foundation and crap is necessary. And let’s face it, I’m not THAT motivated. Sleep is so much more important. I will continue to be the frumpy-looking hoodie, jeans, and clogs girl, but I will have fifteen more minutes of sleep. I win.
Next time: my relationship with my hair, and why I am not just the makeupless girl, but also the pony-tail-sporting-non-long-silky-hair girl.
Just kidding. I won’t put you through the torture of a post like this again for a while. 🙂