I’m finding that humility leads to being trampled on and used, which makes me think that I’ve got the idea of humility wrong. How do you put others first while still taking care of yourself?
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also, you are rarely helping another person truly by letting them abuse you. That’s called enabling.
You are a temple and you need to care for yourself accordingly, which will ultimately help you be more of service and of better use to the One you are really trying to serve.
And too, sometimes what we see as trampling is just inconvenience and inconsideration, and we stretch by “counting it all joy” and persevering.
Praying for you today Laura.
My two cents? Don’t confuse humility and charity with being a pushover and a pacifist. Sometimes standing up for oneself is a charitable act for the other person, who we are enabling to be a bully. You can be assertive and not be that B word, and you can be charitable and humble, without being taken advantage of. Start by saying No every once in a while. It takes practice. If pride is the antithesis of humility, then excess of humility to the point of being selfdeprecating is equally unbalanced.
I love having voices of wisdom in my life. Thanks guys.
It’s easy to get over taxed when you know you’re able to do something – everything, but by always being “the One to do”, it doesn’t allow others the opportunity to handle the situation or challenge. Stepping away from a situation and saying – “I’m sure you can figure it out, I believe you can do it” will hopefully make someone else step up to the plate and if they don’t it’s not your fault or responsiblity to fix.
Bego’s right, saying “No” is important, and is the first step.
Possible second step – examine what are your base commitments,I mean basic here not extra curricular. Some times in your life you can take on more, before college, some times not espeically as your base commitiments grow, God, college, career, marriage, family .
I would go to the third step which involves becoming aware of what is motivating you to always say yes and what you fear you might be saying about yourself if you say no.
Realizing that when you say no, you could feel you’re being selfish and “letting someone down” who “needs” you or worse admitting you can’t do something at that moment. This is a psychological trap that can become a spiral of mental,physical, and spiritual decline and is especially dangerous in the area of ministry as there is no end to the tide of human suffering and needs and seeming lack of workers.
But God created more than one person on this earth to ease suffering. So when faced with the constant urge to “fix” something for someone or someone else – STOP! be silent and pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance and the help to say no.
Even Jesus knew he should rest and took it.
You’ll struggle with this one you’re whole life – don’t be hard on yourself and practice with me… “No thank you I can’t right now.” And really that’s because I need to practice that too. Love you.
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Catholic. Southerner. Graduate of the University of Notre Dame ('10). God willing, I will receive my MSW from the University of Michigan in 2012. I live in Detroit with my darling husband, and I'm learning how to turn a house into a home.
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